Saturday, September 11, 2010

Post 15

SOUNDS

It was easy to lure the uncertain child who strives for affection and had not learned the extent of her own beauty. I was just a child.

I have never known a world without pain existing around my mind. I can feel the tenderness of my heartstrings being pulled from within. Someone else is plucking them without my permission.

The strings are silent now. I make a sanctuary out of the silence.

My nerves stand toned waiting to be plucked again.

There are knots where too many people have tried to play and the broken strings have twisted around my dreams. I am drawn down. Sinking down in the blackness of my memories.

Pain found me empty inside.

The shell that once was me is now filled with a constant pitch of pain.

I fear movement. I do not want to set the sirens off for they may draw attention.

Seeking for memories of a better place. The smell of home, of calmness, of peace escapes me.

A fragile mind crashed like a violent wave. Rushing in on itself. Silent until it was through destroying anything in its path.

There are many ways to die. There are many black holes that can suck the soul deep within.

The predators spin lies that seem like truth. They pluck at my strings until sound in inaudible.

I am vomiting memories. The darkness escapes without permission forcing me to face what happened. It is as if the entire world can see what I have worked for an eternity to hide.

Sleep without pain seems unreal. Falling asleep without thought and being able to merely exist is a dream.

I stuff everything; my pain, my sorrow, my truth as far down as I can.

With one last pluck of my strings, the enemy retreats to the far side of my heart where we cannot reach one another.

Everything is silent now. I have buried the sounds. Does anyone understand why even in silence I can hear the child scream?

-Anonymous

1 comment:

LadyJtalks said...

I can only scream inside and at myself. Only once in a dream I screamed back at my mother and my therapist was so happy for me. Hey it was a large victory over my family if only in my dreams. Good words here.